


You Are Not The Only One (Who Feels Like This)

by nextdoorneighbor



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Don't worry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jeno-centric, Just a little tho, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other, Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Sexual Harassment, Underage Drinking, anywho, holy shit there's a lot of tags for cuddling okay just know that they cuddle somewhat a lot, insecurities all over the place, it's all going to be fine at the end, lots of them - Freeform, man I don't even know if this is good, most of the characters don't get to speak or they have one line (lol just like SM wow I Am Horrible), okay I'm gonna stop now this got long, slightly suggestive language but they are teens what did you expect, so that was a ride, that's not long, the world's not perfect But At Least everyone's supportive of one another, this is more fluffy than it is angsty don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 05:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11247624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nextdoorneighbor/pseuds/nextdoorneighbor
Summary: So, the facts are these:-Mark is just a tad bit too insecure,-Donghyuck has absolutely no shame,-and Jeno is completely and utterly in love with the both of them – even if he is not ready to admit that just yet.(Or, just three kids dancing around the subject of polyamory.)





	You Are Not The Only One (Who Feels Like This)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so. No one asked for this, I know, and I don't know where this came from but it's the longest thing I have ever written and I Am Not Sure How I Did It. Seriously, I get so many ideas all the damn time that I Never Finish Anything, but this! What! I did get distracted at times and of course Life Happened but yeah, I made it. 
> 
> I was (and still am, tbh) at crossroads if I should even post this, because I have no idea if this is any good and if anyone's even willing to sit through this. I'm going to be shocked if someone does; as I said, I don't know how this came out. Usually I know if I'm satisfied with what I have written, but with this I have no idea. I certainly enjoyed writing it, though the first few chapters I rewrote at least four times and I still think they didn't reach their full potential. But if you do read though that I hope it gets better towards the end. Shit, this (too) is getting long.
> 
> On a final note, I Know (I Know) that there isn't a lot of interaction between Yuta and Jeno on the social media (the Dream kids and 127 either way apart from that V Live the other day), and if you can't see them as best buddies (that I can see, obviously, since I wrote this) then it might be weird for you to read this because they do interact a lot (on the level that they are as close as brothers can be, though they aren't blood related).
> 
> I do sincerely hope you enjoy this (if you even got to this point)!
> 
> Edit: this is still getting attention altho the fic is soon 1 yo???? I am out of words thank you for all the love!! ❤️

Jeno’s life has pretty much gone to hell during these last few months. Where did it start? He questions himself as he buries his fingers deeper into his thumping scalp. He had tried to dry his cheeks into his jeans, tried to stop the tears, to stop hyperventilating. He can’t, obviously, since his eyes are still acting as waterfalls, and at the same time his head is pounding as he feels like he’s going to black out from the lack of oxygen. The lone little wind-shelter cubicle on the bus stop he is sat at is echoing with the pathetic little noises he unwillingly lets out in between the sobs. 

Where did it all start, really? Well, probably when he first time thought about kissing Mark and Donghyuck. That would be the answer, but when the spiral of bad decisions and tears of pain had really started spinning was about two months ago, the first time Lee Jeno drank alcohol. 

 

;;;

 

“Okay, so this shouldn’t be that strong,” Yuta says, lowering his voice so only Jeno can hear. The cup is red like in all of the American movies. Yuta smiles and continues, “and if Taeyong gets to know about this, I’ll fucking disown you, got it?” It’s half a threat and half a joke. Jeno doesn’t know if he should be laughing or scared. And yeah, they aren’t actual brothers but Yuta and him are as much of a family as two people can be. Jeno’s face turns in disgust when he tastes it, how can someone drink this? Yuta laughs at that.

“Tastes like shit, right? Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Now, bottoms up, boy!” The older encourages with a pat on his back and walks off.

‘’,,

Jeno thinks back to – twenty minutes ago, the clock tells him. Wow, the time really flies. There’s music playing but he seems to forget it every two seconds. Alcohol is weird, he decides. 

All sixteen of them have gathered at Youngho and Hansol’s house – or first it was just theirs, but now it’s Taeil, Dongyoung, Taeyong, and Yuta’s place, too – to just hang out. It’s not often that they are able to spend time like this with everyone here. Some are dancing in the middle of the living room, some having a drinking game, and some just having a conversation. 

Their friend group varies in personalities as well as ages; youngest of them in the first year of high school and oldest of them completed their Master’s Degree. Jeno thinks it’s nice like this, sure, their views on things differ a lot and sometimes the arguments become fights, but Jeno knows that with the amount of people they have, it’s impossible to avoid altercation. 

He snaps out of his hazy thoughts when he notices Mark and Donghyuck, the perfect couple – at least in his eyes. He smiles, blames the alcohol. They move to the couch in the other corner in the room. 

Jeno thinks about them a lot nowadays. He doesn’t exactly know why, they are cute together, and maybe individually, but they are both taken – by each other. And it’s not like Jeno likes either of them like that. He couldn’t. No, he just… It’s weird, really, he doesn’t want to call it an obsession, because it’s not, but he can’t find a better word for it. He’s sometimes scared of himself, disgusted. They are his best friends. His heart shouldn't beat faster when Mark takes his hand, and his breath shouldn’t catch in his throat when Donghyuck runs his fingers through Jeno’s hair. That’s just weird. He’s weird. 

“Jeno!” He registers someone shouting his name over the music and soon after there is a body crashing on top of his. The bright orange tuft of hair gives Renjun off, and Jeno smiles at his best friend. Has Yuta given him some alcohol, too? “What are you doin’?” The other slurs and yup, his breath reeks. Jeno grins and ruffles his hair like he’s a child. 

“Mm… Nothing really,” he answers and unintentionally looks back to Mark and Donghyuck – great, they are sucking face now. There’s goosebumps on his skin. “Hey listen, Renjun, want to go somewhere else?” He sees Jisung and Chenle glance at them on the other couch but brushes it off. Renjun smiles wide.

“Yeah, where are we going?” Renjun pulls him up and he mutters something about ‘wherever,’ before looking at the pair for the last time.

They find themselves in the backyard, legs dangling off the terrace edge over the grass. It’s exceptionally quiet for the music is blasting inside, but no one else is out here. It’s just them. Jeno hasn’t even realized when Renjun starter playing with his shirt sleeve and now he’s leaning his head on his shoulder. Do they do this sober? Why does this feel so weird?

“Well, look at our two lovebirds!” It’s Mark’s voice coming from behind them. Jeno scrunches his nose. ‘Lovebirds’? “Stargazing, are we?” He looks back, effectively dropping Renjun’s head from his shoulder. Mark looks ethereal right now, Jeno’s mind processes even if he tries to stop it. 

“Lovebirds? Seriously, hyung?” He’s voice feels odd in his throat. Mark sits next to him and Donghyuck on the other side of Renjun. Jeno ignores the want to wrap his hand around the older. Mark only grins at him, supposedly knowingly. “Where did you get that from?”

“Oh come on!” Mark is smiling, and Jeno bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from mirroring the expression. He grimaces, looks in front.

“He’s my best friend,” he claims like the other isn’t even there. “And I like someone else.” Just after the words leave his mouth, he realizes what he had said. 

“You do?” They all chime out at the same time. Oh shit. He shouldn’t have said that, what if they are going to ask him who he likes? He panics in his mind. This isn’t happening. He would have never said that if he was sober. _Shit, shit, shit..._ Donghyuck and Renjun sit up all of a sudden. He frowns, looks up. Donghyuck is dragging the other inside. He almost stands up, too, but is stopped by a hand, Mark’s hand. 

“What’s going on?” He doesn’t understand, the mood suddenly shifting the air. 

“Jeno, you…” Mark is frowning at him, studying his face and trying to understand. Jeno feels lost. “You didn’t know? Like – you seriously didn’t know or are you just being an asshole?” Jeno is so out of it. He feels guilty, even if he has no idea why. What the hell? He wants to ask, but he feels like he should know more than he actually knows, and he really doesn’t know what just happened, but something did, for Mark is calling him an asshole. “Jeno, he likes you,” Mark blurts out and that’s when the light goes on in his head. Oh shit.

“What?” He gasps. “He – what?!” He reruns the night in his head, and thinks about the past months, too. “Oh my God!” He stares at the ground, buries his other hand into his hair. “Oh my God.” His breath quickens and he freaks out. Suddenly it’s all so clear. “I can’t believe – I just did that! He must feel like shit. Why am I so stupid? What the–”

“Jeno, calm down,” Mark says and he does. It’s like a spell. He looks at the other but regrets it when their eyes meet. There’s tenderness that makes his heart melt. “For a second I really thought–” He licks his lips and Jeno wants to dismiss it, he really does. He looks away. “I really thought you knew. Hell! Everyone knows, it was a fact at this point. We were all just waiting for the moment you two get together.” 

Jeno can’t stop the mantra of ‘I’m the shittiest friend’ going over and over in his head, and Mark apparently knows how to read minds. Jeno feels a strand of his hair being tucked behind his ear and his eyes fly open. _It’s what friends do, it was just an act of affection – in a friend way! Stop making this weird, Lee Jeno._

”Sorry,” Mark says, pulls his hand away. ”That was weird. I shouldn’t have done that.” Jeno finds himself once again looking at the other and curses inwardly. He isn’t totally in control of his own actions yet. 

”No, it’s fine.” His voice sounds so vulnerable and weak and he wants to grimace. He looks away. ”I – I should probably check on Renjun – if he will even talk to me anymore.” His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. Mark looks at his phone for a brief second, probably asking Donghyuck where he took Renjun. “I’m so dense, I can’t believe I said that,” Jeno mumbles more to himself. 

“Hey, you didn’t know. It’s understandable,” the other tries to calm him, pets his back with an unsure hand. Jeno doesn’t even bother to answer. He gets up, doesn’t look at Mark. “They are in Taeil and Dongyoung hyungs’ room,” he continues and Jeno nods. His head is a mess. 

He climbs the stairs, leans against the door. Pretends to knock, but doesn’t. He feels awful. He can’t hear into the room because of the music. He inhales deep, shuts his eyes, and knocks. It takes a while. 

“Who is it?” It comes right from the other side and Jeno just catches it.

“It’s Jeno,” he squeaks and the door opens. It’s Donghyuck. He looks so mad and Jeno feels even more horrible, and then he sees Renjun sitting on the bed. His eyes are red. “C-Can I talk to you,” he gulps, talks right to Renjun over Donghyuck’s shoulder. The other nods, looks away. When Donghyuck leaves (staring daggers into Jeno’s back for making Renjun cry), he shuts the door behind him, and Jeno walks closer to the other. “God, Renjun, I am so sorry, you have no idea,” he starts, sits down on the bed, too. “I really did not know! I feel so stupid for saying it so bluntly, I–“ He gets cut off when Renjun wraps him into a hug. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” the other says against his shoulder with a shaky voice. “I should have.”

“Hey, it was my turn to apologize,” he says, only half jokingly, but Renjun chuckles, pulls away from him. Jeno has never been so happy to see the other smile. “You don’t have to say sorry, it’s me who hurt you. And God, it’s so like me to be so stupid and thoughtless like that. I am so sorry, Renjun, I wouldn’t have told you like this if I had realized...” he finishes, stares at the other to the point he looks away. He gnaws at his lip, studies the carpet. Jeno really needs him to accept his apology.

“So, this means that we won’t even try?” He talks so quietly Jeno almost doesn’t catch it but when he does, his heart misses a beat. Renjun looks back at him and Jeno is at loss of words for a moment. 

“Renjun–“

“It’s fine, you said you already like someone else, right?” Jeno can’t believe it. Of course Renjun had hoped for them to even try being together. Of course he had – Jeno does the same. Shit.

“I really, really don’t want to hurt you anymore. I can’t do that, Renjun. I know I wouldn’t be able to...”

“See me in that light,” he finishes for him, nods his head. “Yeah.” Renjun casts his eyes down again, sighs. Jeno had felt better for a moment but now he feels like shit again. The other inhales audibly, straightens his back. “We shouldn’t talk for a while,” he declares and Jeno’s head snaps back at him. “You know, not never again, just – for a little while.” Jeno doesn’t know how to react, he just wants to cry. “I-I need time. To… forget, to think about other things. And I’m not mad at you, Jeno, don’t think that. It’s – I just need some time for myself,” he finishes with another inhale that shows finality. 

“If that’s what you really want.” Jeno tries to keep his face straight. He can’t let the tears fall just yet. He heard every word, understood them all, but he still feels horrible. He knows that if he would get rejected like Renjun had, he wouldn’t be able to move from his bed ever again. They hug for the last time, and then Renjun leaves the room, apologizing even though Jeno is the one who should. 

Jeno makes a beeline to Yuta’s room, falls onto the bed, and lets himself fall asleep. He distantly remembers the light flickering on, shushed voices, and finally Yuta’s body climbing onto the bed with him. 

 

;;;

 

“Hyung?” Yuta hums in response. Jeno is in the elder’s room, a week after the gathering, sitting on his spinning chair while Yuta is tapping make-up onto his face gently. They do this often, Yuta likes to paint his face with eye-shadows and other things – stress-relief, he claims – and Jeno quite likes it, too. It’s relaxing. He just gets to sit there, he doesn’t have to worry about anything, and after a while when he looks into a mirror, he looks completely different. They aren’t planning on to go anywhere either, Yuta just likes to apply make-up onto his face. Jeno bites the inside of his cheek. Should he ask? “Have you ever heard of – uh…” Yuta waits patiently for him to continue. 

“Open your eyes,” he says in passing, not really wanting to interrupt Jeno but opening his mouth anyway to give him instructions. Jeno complies and Yuta inspects his face, measuring that he has the eyebrows drawn symmetrically. “Shut. Head up,” he tells him, gives his chin a light push with the side of his finger. “You were asking?” Yuta’s hand comes up to Jeno’s jaw to keep him in place. 

“Have you ever heard of polyamory?” He tries desperately to swallow down the piece forming in his throat but doesn’t succeed. 

“Stop spinning on the chair,” the other mumbles out. It’s not annoyed, it’s just a thoughtless remark. “Polyamory? Where did you pick that up from?” 

It had been a biology class earlier that day, he hadn’t been paying that much attention honestly, his thoughts flying in the other corner of the classroom where a certain brown haired boy, going by the name of Lee Donghyuck, was sat. 

He got pulled back to the class conversation when he heard something about, ‘a polyamorous person can have romantic feelings for more than one person at the same time.’ The statement had set the class into a storm of questions send in the teacher’s way, most of them being about cheating and greediness. Jeno however, was having a mental battle with himself. Had he just heard that right? Was that even possible? Could he be – no. He couldn’t be like that, and he does not bear a huge crush on his two friends. Not possible. Still, he somehow found himself scrolling through multiple websites on the subject on the next recess. 

“Uh… It just came up in the biology class today, and it stuck in my mind,” says Jeno, opens his eyes when the hand leaves the side of his face and the brush is not tapping on his eyelid anymore. Yuta is swirling the brush in a dark blue palette on the table. “Do you know anyone like that, hyung?” 

“Eyes, Jeno, and keep your head straight,” Yuta tells him again and he shuts his lids. “So, you are asking if I know anyone who has been in a polyamorous relationship?” The other thinks for a while, sighs deep in thought. “No, I can’t recall anyone. But I’ve heard of it,” he continues, his fresh breath lightly fanning on Jeno’s face – probably from chewing gum. “It’s not so common, and the subject is hardly talked about anywhere, though.” Jeno gulps and tries to calm his fast beating heart. 

“What are your thoughts on it?” He lets out, breath shaky. Yuta straight up laughs, gives his shoulder a push, and he opens his eyes.

“Aren’t you being serious today? What’s got you so glum?” Yuta isn’t really taking it seriously, and maybe that’s a good thing. Jeno smiles, too, lets out a laugh. “To answer your question, I haven’t really thought about it, y’know? Like I said, not a lot of people talk about it, but like, I don’t see it as bad thing, I guess? If you really are in love with more people than one, and everyone is okay with it and open with each other, I can’t see why it would be a problem.” 

It makes Jeno smile, makes him feel better. Yuta is going to say something but that’s when the bedroom door opens. Jeno can’t see who it is because the door is behind him, but judging by the face Yuta is making, it’s Taeyong.

“Hey, have you seen my wallet?” Yup, it’s Taeyong. He soon walks to the bed, past the both of them.

“No. Why? Are you going somewhere?” Yuta asks, his undivided attention now on his significant other’s back. Taeyong is on the floor, looking under the bed. 

“Yeah, Ten and Jaehyun asked me to go to the shopping center with them. They were afraid they’d get lost in that big place.” That might be true even, those two can’t navigate to save their lives. He gets up from the floor, rubs the back of his neck. When he turns around, he acknowledges Jeno for the first time that day. “Oh, hey. Suits you,” he claims, places his hand onto Yuta’s shoulder as a sign of being proud of him. Yuta grins. 

“Yeah! It really does,” he agrees, and Jeno blushes. He hasn’t seen his face yet. Taeyong doesn’t admire his boyfriend’s creation much longer. He gets back on looking for his wallet. “Where did you see it last?” Yuta tries to help, gnaws at his lip as he looks around the room. Taeyong mumbles something, half of his torso in the closet where he’s currently searching from. It goes on a while longer, Yuta stands up to help. 

Jeno admires them, how they work so well together. Yuta and Taeyong are so different on so many levels, and when Jeno had first heard that they started dating, he thought is was a prank. Taeyong is more considerate. He always thinks before he acts, and he takes care of everyone, his dongsaengs and his hyungs. Yuta on a contrary is more spontaneous, more wild. Jeno had been the first one Yuta had told about them dating, and even though Jeno was skeptical, he decided on being happy for them. 

He has known Yuta the longest from their friend group, they had been neighbors since the day Yuta’s family moved from Japan when he had been eight. The older used to babysit him when he was a child and even when they got older, they didn’t grow apart. Jeno trusts no one like he trusts Yuta, or more like Yuta knows too much about him for him to let him go. 

They all smile when the wallet is finally found – under the blankets on the end of the bed. (“How did that get there?!”) Taeyong kisses Yuta good bye and smiles at Jeno, gives a pat on his shoulder on his way out. Yuta shouts for him to bring take-out when he gets back and they go back to finishing Jeno’s make-up look.

 

;;;

 

Jeno isn’t avoiding Renjun, it’s the other way around. Or well… He hasn’t really tried to reach out either. Renjun had confessed – or really it was Mark who had done it for him, and Jeno had turned him right down, almost telling about his (of course non-existent) crush (which he does not have) to the other three (but it’s not like it matters because it doesn’t exist because one, he is not a creep who crushes on his friends, and two, he is not polyamorous. That is ridiculous). 

So when Renjun walks past him in the school corridor two and a half weeks later, he grabs his arm, doesn’t let go before the other looks at him. He tells him, ‘hello,’ and the other answers him with a hesitant, ‘hi,’ and after talking for ten minutes, the awkwardness fades away and they fall back into their old rhythm. It really wasn’t that hard after all, Jeno has just tiptoed around him because he was afraid he would say something hurtful again. He hasn’t till this point, so he lets the tension loosen as he talks, pays close attention to the other’s expressions. 

They eat lunch and after that climb to the fifth floor to hang out in the space only meant for students. There are couches, beanbags and tables scattered across the hall, but there rarely is anyone else but them at this time of the day. Them meaning him, Renjun, Mark, Donghyuck, Chenle, and Jisung, and that is why they are a little surprised when there is another head on one of the beanbags. Jisung and Chenle are in the other corner of the hall, and that’s where they go, too. 

“Who’s that?” There is a whisper in his ear and that’s when he realizes that Renjun has had a stare down with the boy on the beanbag. He sees the blush on Renjun’s cheeks and then he sees the smirk on the boy’s face. He looks back down at the schoolbook on his lap again; he isn’t about to have a staring contest with Jeno, too. 

“Oh, him? Na Jaemin, he’s in my History, English, and PE classes, and if I recall correctly, he’s with us in Maths. He plays badminton in the town’s team, surely you have seen him before,” he claims like it doesn’t matter much, but the red on Renjun’s face hasn’t eased up and Jeno wants to ask. “Although he has been away from school for a while now; seems like he is back.” It takes Renjun’s far too long to answer with a, ‘why don’t I remember?’ which is more mumbled to himself than to Jeno. “Maybe you should go say hi?” He says, volume of his voice loud enough for Jaemin to hear and glance at them again, and for Renjun to smack his shoulder repeatedly. And if he is reading any of the signs right (and that would be a miracle since he hasn’t proven himself to be that good in these kind of things), it seems that Renjun will get over his crush on Jeno far more quickly than any of them had expected. 

Mark and Donghyuck’s heads appear in the top of the staircase after a while, too. They are out of breath and Jeno smiles at them. 

Renjun had earlier moved to help Jisung translate a math problem to Chenle, and now they are together trying to solve it. The pair that had barely survived the stairs, slump down on the couch on either side of Jeno, Mark on his left and Donghyuck on his right side. They don’t even greet the others, they are exhausted. 

Jeno tries to stop the blush appearing on his face when Donghyuck leans his head onto his shoulder, breath fanning over his chest. Mark is quick to bury his hand in Jeno’s hair, it’s a habit by now, the both of them do it. It’s a habit but Jeno can still feel a cold surge crawl under his skin and his eyes fall shut unintentionally. It just feels so damn good. Mark asks about his day, and the conversation grows from there, too bad the next lesson starts in ten minutes. 

‘’,,

Jaemin leaves the beanbag a little earlier than the six of them. Mark has his next class in the first floor, no wonder he had complained about climbing to the fifth floor for nothing. (The couple kiss before Mark goes, just in front of Jeno’s face like he wouldn’t have noticed it anyway.) The rest of them part ways, too, leaving Jeno and Donghyuck, who both have their class on the fifth floor, Korean, to be exact. 

Jeno quite likes mother language, he has always been good at the subject. He doesn’t know Donghyuck’s view on it, though, he has never asked. He glances at him and the other seems exceptionally serious. That’s odd. They walk down the corridor and get to the class just when the teacher, Mrs. Im, arrives. They are just on time. They don’t sit next to each other, the seating order was given at the start of the semester. Jeno doesn’t really mind, at least he can concentrate better when he can’t sense the other next to him at all times. And Donghyuck doesn’t sit far, in the next row, a few tables more back. 

“Okay class, today we’ll start by reading the chapter at hand. Do you want to read it on your own, or shall we read it out loud?” There is some murmur around the class. Jeno doesn’t really have an opinion on the question, it’s fine either way. He has no problem with his voice, and now that he thinks about it, half of the people here won’t read the chapter if they are assigned to read it on their own. When it’s read so everyone gets to read a paragraph, they need to pay more attention and everyone would memorize something. 

The teacher seems to have the same mind, as she declares they read out loud. Some groan and some just stay quiet – Donghyuck stays quiet. Lee Donghyuck always says something in class, he comments whatever the subject, and everyone will laugh, but not now. Jeno won’t glance at the other even if he wants to. That would be weird, right? 

He settles on that the other just hadn’t come up with anything good to say and because of that is being silent. Mrs. Im is calling on people at random whenever the previous student had read their part. Jeno gets his turn and it goes, the class time is running nicely. That’s when she calls Donghyuck’s name. The room falls silent. Jeno frowns, eventually giving up and looking at the other. He is white as a sheet… and shivering. Is he okay?

“D-Do I have to?” Jeno has never in his wildest dreams seen Donghyuck like this. He looks like he is going to throw up, fingers fumbling with the corner of the page. Jeno blinks, looks at the other questioningly, but he doesn’t look his way, keeps staring at the teacher. She sighs, sets her reading glasses onto the table in front.

“Donghyuck, this is a part of class activity. Yes, please, just read your part.” Jeno also hears some girl on the other side of the class say something about hurrying up. What’s going on? Once again he feels like he should know something he doesn’t. Donghyuck looks at the book on the table before him like it insulted his mother. “Please, you are wasting class time,” she continues and Jeno almost chuckles, Donghyuck would consider that a good thing. 

The other finally opens his mouth, starting on the text. He’s stuttering, words mixing, cursing under his breath. Letters mix and words change meaning. Jeno is worried, Donghyuck must not feel well. He can’t conquer even the first sentence when someone laughs, Jeno makes sure to send an angry glare at their way. Donghyuck doesn’t continue, all that can be heard is a chair scratch against the floor. Jeno looks back, Donghyuck is standing now, looking at the few students that are snickering, those who are making fun of him. 

“What? You weren’t taught how to read in elementary school?” Someone shouts then and Donghyuck makes a move to leave, doesn’t even give a glance at the teacher who calls him back. The door slams shut, for a second it’s quiet, someone starts laughing but Mrs. Im shuts them up, begs for silence and that they continue after the scenario ending. 

Jeno can’t concentrate, though, he thinks on it a few seconds and then stand up, too, pulling the attention to himself. The teacher glances at him expectantly, waiting for him to say what he wants to say, and for a moment Jeno thinks about excusing himself to the bathroom but decides not to, it would be useless, and finds himself walking to the door, too. 

The teacher calls his name numerous times, but he walks out like he hadn’t heard, the only thing running through his mind is Donghyuck. He sees the other power walking down the empty corridor, says his name because he knows he can hear him. Maybe he will stop. He starts walking after him, soon jogs.

“Donghyuck, hey, it’s me, Jeno,” he tries again but no avail. He catches up to the other, almost half way down the hall, takes his shoulder to make him stop but he yanks himself away from the touch. His face is red and he’s shivering still. A sniffle. “Hey–“

“What? Came to laugh at my face, too?” His voice is bitter and he’s trying to cover the fact that it’s shaking. 

“Wha– of course not, Hyuck! Why would I ever–“ he doesn’t finish, sees the tears trying to push themselves out of Donghyuck’s red eyes. His breathing becomes irregular. “Why would I laugh at you?” The question fades into the air, his voice dying out on the last word. Donghyuck won’t answer, can’t answer. He is determined to not cry. He keeps staring and Jeno doesn’t know what to do. In a blink of an eye the other crumbles, his hand flies up to his mouth at the first sob. His eyes flicker and the tears finally fall. Jeno doesn’t waste time on pulling him into a hug, the other no longer objecting. He combs his fingers through his hair and feels him let the earlier façade go, letting the tears fall. “Let’s go sit somewhere, yeah?” he suggests after a while. He gets a nod against his shoulder as a confirmation.

‘’,,

They are sitting on one of the love seats in the ‘student hall’ as they like to call it. Jeno pets Donghyuck’s arm as he cries. It has been good fifteen minutes now but Jeno lets him get it all out, he knows it’s not often that Donghyuck cries like this. He had considered on texting Mark, he surely knows how to calm Donghyuck, but had decided against it. He is in PE class right now and probably wouldn’t be looking at his phone that much. He realizes Donghyuck is no longer crying. He is sniffling still, staring into nothing, corner of his lips twitching downwards. Jeno won’t ask, maybe the other will open up if he wants to. 

“God, that was embarrassing,” the other suddenly says with a beginning of a chuckle. His hand comes up to his face and he wipes the tears away with his sleeve. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, Donghyuck. Everyone has bad days.” He really wants to pet Donghyuck’s face, he really does, chews on the inside of his cheek. Fuck it. He lifts his hand, the other noticing it, looking at it till it escapes his vision. Their gazes meet just as Jeno cups his face and they smile shyly, Donghyuck leaning into his touch. He hopes the other is feeling better. The cutest blush dances on the tips of Donghyuck’s ears and even if he doesn’t want to, it travels onto his face, too, his eyes shying away even if Jeno wants to keep staring into the hypnotizing brown orbs. 

“I – the, um – I can’t properly read out loud,” the other starts, his hand straightening out the fabric of his pants. “It’s stupid really, I mean, who can’t?” He’s laughing a little, stopping when he sees that Jeno isn’t following suit. Jeno lets his hand fall, slides it gently down his arm and catches Donghyuck’s hand on his thigh. He gives a reassuring smile as a cue for him to continue. “My mom says I have dyslexia,” He claims, eyes carefully following the waltz their hands are dancing on his lap. “I’ve noticed it also. It’s not that bad when I read just in my head, although I make mistakes then, too. But it’s a whole different story when I read out loud, my brain makes assumptions, moves on too quickly, the words become a mess in front of me. And it’s always been like that, I–“ he halts, stares at the wall on the opposite side of the hall. “I’ve always dreaded reading aloud like that. People laugh at me in those moments, not at my jokes.” They sit in silence for a moment, Jeno isn’t sure if the other had finished. 

“Why haven’t you told Mrs. Im? I’m sure she wouldn’t have made you–“

“I have,” the other claims, looks at him with wide eyes. “She won’t believe me. I don’t have a written certificate proving that I actually have dyslexia,” he continues, face growing evermore serious. 

“Why haven’t you gone to a testing? There usually has been plenty of opportunities. It’s not uncommon,” Jeno questions. At least in his lifetime, the schools he has been to have held occasions where they test the kids’ reading abilities. There is always that one kid who is diagnosed with dyslexia and they have been relieved for they finally got to know why it seems to be so hard for them to read. 

“Mom won’t let me make it official. She says that it will look bad in my CV in the future, and that it’s not that bad, I can read fine as long as I don’t have to do it out loud.” Donghyuck sighs, eyes shutting. 

Jeno runs his gaze atop the other’s face, he always does when he has the chance. Whenever he or Mark is talking, Jeno has an excuse to study their eyes, noses, lips – and no one will think it’s weird that his eyes linger there for a tad too long. He looks back up to see the other already looking at him. He grins, nose wrinkling, slides his thumb over the bumps of Donghyuck’s knuckles in his hand. The other smirks back and then he knows he’s feeling much better. 

‘’,,

They sit there till the bell rings, wait until the students have rushed out before going back to the classroom. It’s funny how naturally they fall in step with each other and how Jeno’s hand finds Donghyuck’s. It’s like they always do it – but they do always do it, now that he thinks about it. Oh. 

Their things are still sitting in their assigned seats when they get inside the now-empty-classroom-aside-from-the-teacher, and walk straight to the front. Donghyuck half hides behind Jeno’s body as he addresses the teacher, speaks calmly and with respect even though they usually are more familiar with each other; Mrs. Im is one of his favorite teachers and he is one of her favorite students. 

He doesn’t make Donghyuck explain, only voices the issue how he understood it, glancing at the other from time to time to make sure he’s not completely lying. Mrs. Im nods her head, understanding the situation. She asks Donghyuck a few questions, and he answers to the best of his ability, a little weirded out that she is actually listening to him even thought their relationship isn’t that good. 

They walk out with success, the teacher had exempted Donghyuck from reading out loud during the classes. The other is all smiles after that, he keeps thanking Jeno for helping him, even giving his cheek a big wet smooch that makes them both laugh and go all red. Jisung, who has already found his way to the student hall keeps making puking noises, spelling ‘gross’ at them when Donghyuck nuzzles against Jeno. Mark just keeps smirking and cooing at his boyfriend. He doesn’t even look bothered about the unshared attention. Jeno tries to stop himself from hoping this to be everyday, he really tries. 

 

;;;

 

“Okay everyone! We’ll wrap this up for the evening,” the theater club’s leader, Mr. Nam, declares. Most of them groan, they all love gathering at the town’s theater every Saturday night. Their group is quite small, there is only thirteen of them, but they have all grown to be really close through the years. Jeno waves most of them off as they leave through the front door in groups of three or four, himself left to sit on the seats of the grandstand, waiting for a certain blond to finish talking to Mr. Nam. He pulls his phone out to to have a quick check on his face. Yuta had applied make-up onto him again when he had told about his part in the play they are going to hold later this year.

The theater is rather small, but so is the town they live in. Their school doesn’t have as wide of a range of clubs the students can participate in as bigger schools, some of them held by the town. Their school doesn’t have a drama club and so it’s held here at the local theater. It’s the same as choir (which Donghyuck attends) that is held at the church. Both of the clubs are held on the weekend. Jeno quite likes the fact that it’s not on any of the school days, even though most teens think completely differently, wanting to be free on the two leisure days. It’s nice when he can go home straight from school and not think about going anywhere else that night. 

He observes Mark as he speaks animatedly with Mr. Nam. What could they be talking about? Probably about the upcoming play. Jeno isn’t the main character, neither is Mark, but it doesn’t mean their roles aren’t of importance. Jeno loves acting, putting himself in a whole different persona and taking his place in the world that only exist in the moment on the stage. He hums. It’s nice to look at when Mark is so enthusiastic about something like this. He keeps gesturing with his hands, and the pair laugh occasionally. 

Jeno glances at the clock on the wall, finding out that it has already been fifteen minutes since Mr. Nam had wished them good night. Hansol and Youngho had promised to pick them up, the elders of their friend group normally do, the walk home from the theater is rather long for the both of them. He gets up from his seat, walking down the few steps to get to the floor level. He taps on Mark’s shoulder to indicate that he’ll be outside waiting. The other nods, promises the conversation won’t take much longer. 

The night air is much colder than he had anticipated, winter is just around the corner. He shivers a bit, walks further away from the door in the parking lot in front of the building. The yard is only escorted by one lamppost, standing proudly in the middle of the gravel field. He searches the silent night with his eyes, no familiar car sitting there, only one but he doesn’t recognize it. That’s weird, Hansol and Youngho should be here already. 

Not even Mr. Nam’s car is here, it must be at the back of the building. Jeno keeps looking around for nothing in particular, his phone is lying dead in his pants’ pocket, all the notifications checked earlier when he was sitting and waiting for Mark. He spots someone good seventy feet away – two someones, or at least there seems to be two cigarettes hovering midair in the shadow of the building. Jeno looks away, a little feeling of unsureness washing over him. 

“Hey you,” a gruff voice suddenly calls, making Jeno jump in his spot. He looks back in the shadows, sees that the lights of the cigarettes have died and there are two people stepping into the light. One of them is a man and the other is a woman, both much older than him, at least for twenty years. Jeno doesn’t know how to react, he doesn’t know what they want. They move to his direction, but Jeno can’t see their faces, the light coming from behind. He looks around, really hoping that they aren’t talking to him, but sees no one. The lot is as dead as it was a few minutes ago. 

The two come closer, never stopping. It’s slight panic taking over Jeno’s body at that. He cannot move. He stares like he couldn't hear them, not reacting to the calls he’s receiving. He flinches when his back hits a wall. He must have been walking back without noticing and is now pinned against the building. He feels small, out of place. He doesn’t know what’s going on. There is a hand on his upper arm, pressing down on his bicep to the point it hurts. Jeno is paralyzed. He can’t say anything, do anything to stop whatever it is they want to do to him. He is completely and utterly terrified. 

“What is a pretty thing like you doing out here all alone?” The voice is the most horrendous thing Jeno has ever heard, the ‘pretty thing’ making him want to throw up. He can’t look at them, but even if he would find a route to escape, he’s not sure he could run fast enough. There is a hand on his jaw making him look up, both of their reeking breaths fanning down on him. He lets out a little yelp, the contrast of the man’s rough, dirty skin against his own is huge. It feels horrible. He doesn’t want them to touch him. There are low chuckles, he is been called more names he wants to forget. He presses his eyes tightly shut when the hand on his jaw makes it’s way down on the side of his neck. Another hand appears to the front of his chest, making it’s way down ever-so slowly. Jeno wants it to stop. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” It doesn’t take longer than two seconds for the hands to leave him, but he can still sense both of the bodies blocking his way from freedom. His brain registers the voice as Mark’s, but even then, he can’t open his eyes. He doesn’t want them to get Mark, he wants to tell him to run. “Get the fuck away from him,” he hears the other say with a stern but calm voice. It’s a brief moment later that he hears them laugh with their hoarse voices but then it stops altogether. There is some shuffling, Jeno can feel and hear them taking steps away from him, granting him fresh air. 

“I-Is that a gun?!” The woman shouts, and then more shuffling and curses. “Oh shit!” Suddenly there’s noises of running, shoe soles hitting the stony ground. Jeno can’t pry his eyes open but he comes aware that he’s hyperventilating, his head feeling dizzy. 

“Jeno,” he hardly hears Mark’s soft voice. He’s been pressed into a chest – Mark’s chest, something hard pressing against his back in the other’s hand. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You are safe. They left. It’s fine...” the other trails off, keeping him in his arms like it’s his vocation. There is a car starting and then speeding away, leaving them in dull silence. Jeno can’t cry, the shock pushing through him in waves, his body trembling so much it’s out of his control. His teeth are clattering together and he still can’t open his eyes, but at least he knows he’s safe now. The harassers are gone and that’s all that matters at the moment. 

It’s not long after that he hears a car pull up to them. He can see now, he opened one of his eyes. He can’t make out what they say, but he can see that it’s Hansol and Youngho, faces turned in worry as they get out of the car. 

Mark won’t let him go the whole time. They sit in the back seat, Mark telling their hyungs what had happened. Hansol is sitting in the back, too, keeping his body close in a protective manner. Jeno is in the middle, not letting go of Mark. Turns out that their car had almost ran out of gas when they were half way to the theater and so they had to turn back before they would have needed to walk to the nearest gas station. They had texted Mark that they would be a little late, but hadn’t realized that he hadn’t looked at his phone. 

The gun isn’t real either. When Mark had been leaving the building, he had glanced outside from the window straight to where Jeno had been, and seen what was going on. He had grabbed the fake gun owned by the theater where he knew one of his friends had left it onto the table from their earlier rehearsal, and barged out of the building. He had promised to lock up after himself while Mr. Nam exited the building through the back door, not being able to know what was going on in the front yard. 

They are all shaken by the story. Jeno doesn’t say a word, can’t even let out a sound. He’s just trying to concentrate on Mark’s hand petting his head and the steady heartbeat he hears through the chest he is leaning his head against. Hansol and Youngho insist on them to stay the night at their place but Mark declines, tells them to drop them of at his home. Apparently Jeno is going to spend the night there for the first time now that it’s just the two of them.

‘’,,

He stares at himself in Mark’s mirror. Has he always been this pale? Did the now-washed-away make-up on his face affect the fact that the harassers attacked him? Does it make him all the things they called him? Does it make him a ‘whore’? Why did they do that to him? He sure didn’t want them to. 

He looks at his arm through the mirror. There’s already red bruises blooming on his skin. Great, those will be there reminding him of this for at least the next two weeks. There’s no other marks they left, but he still feels so dirty. Why is that? He scrubbed himself clean in the shower three times, but still he feels so unclean. He grabs his arm with his other hand, brushes his fingers over the marks. He wants them gone. He reaches for his neck, he can still feel the hand there, he can still feel the rough skin and hear their evil laughs in his ears. He wants it gone, gone, gone, even if he knows the memory will never leave him. 

He lets out a shout when he feels a hand on his shoulder, takes a step away.

“Sorry,” Mark says alarmed, looks uncertain. “I-I didn’t mean to scare you, I – I called your name several times when I came in,” he continues, gulps, looks down from Jeno’s eyes. His heart is thumping in his chest, breath quick. Had he really been that deep in thought?

“I-It’s fine – I didn’t see you,” he tries, his voice trembling so much he isn’t sure if the other can understand his words. He lets his hands fall when he realizes the other had been on his neck and other on his arm, wraps them around himself instead. Mark keeps eyeing him warily, eyebrows knitted together, and Jeno realizes that he’s afraid of doing anything. He’s afraid of Jeno. 

“You just kept rubbing your skin, I – is everything okay?” Jeno frowns for a second, had he done that? He glances into the mirror, seeing that the skin on his neck and on his upper arm are red and notices the slight burn on the spots. Had he done that? His head is a mess. He looks back at the other. Mark is standing stock still, staring at him like he’s a forest fire threatening to spread too wide. Jeno doesn’t want to be a time bomb; he doesn’t want Mark or anyone to be afraid of when he will blow up. 

“I – the people, hyung, I can still feel their hands, smell them, I – when I close my eyes, I can see them coming for me...” He looks at the other, he is itching to touch Jeno, but he won’t. Jeno doesn’t really understand, they had been wrapped around each other for half an hour, why is he avoiding him now? Is it because he had flinched away earlier when Mark had returned from the shower? “I want it gone, hyung.” His voice breaks, and even if he knows he is allowed to cry, he doesn’t feel the need to. Mark shifts like he is going to come closer but doesn’t. Jeno feels horrible. He feels like the other won’t touch him because he is dirty, even though he knows the other doesn’t think like that. “Please, don’t avoid me, it makes me feel like–“ the rest of the sentence gets muffled by Mark’s shoulder. He had moved so quickly Jeno hadn’t even registered it. The other mumbles apologies into his ear and admits that he had been afraid. 

Mark sits them on the bed and they talk about everything else, trying to erase the night away. After they catch themselves yawning and then giggling, they agree on trying to sleep. Jeno just then notices that their hands are still intertwined. They hadn’t let go the whole time. Mark is smiling tiredly but encouragingly, and Jeno’s heart swells at that. He doesn’t want to look away, to let go. He wants this moment to go on for forever. 

Mark is the one who looks away, runs his tongue briefly against his lips, and Jeno realizes that this isn’t his place. He’s not the one Mark shares these kind of moments with, it should be Donghyuck. He pulls his hands away and the other stands from the bed, giving him a look before turning to walk to the couch in the other end of his room. The second Jeno is left to sit there, the feeling of vulnerability fills him once again. He feels alone; his skin exposed to the sharp blades trying to cut him open. 

“Hyung.” His voice is quiet and squeaky, and a part of him hopes that the other doesn’t hear him. Mark turns back at the second he hears it, stops his slow trudging. His eyes are lit up with flames, and Jeno has no idea what he is feeling. “Would it be weird if I–“ he begins but halts, too afraid to ask the question for it might be too much on their friendship. They have never been this close for so long. The other nods, trying to coax Jeno to continue. “If I would ask you to sleep on the bed next to me?” He breathes heavily, squeezes the hem of his shirt in his hands. Mark’s face seems to light up – but that wouldn’t make sense. Maybe he’s reading into it in a wrong way. 

“No, of course not, Jeno,” the other answers with a smile, walking back to him. They get under the blanket. It’s a tight fit but they can manage. The scent makes Jeno feel like he is surrounded with Mark, and that makes him feel so calm and protected that he isn’t even ready to admit it. He buries himself into the other’s chest, hopes that Mark is okay with it, and lets out a content sigh. He feels a hand fling over him and then it’s silent for a while.

They both jolt at a sudden noise of something vibrating. It turns out to be Mark’s phone on the nightstand. Donghyuck is calling him – probably to say good night. All of a sudden it hits him. What if Donghyuck isn’t okay with him cuddling with Mark like this? It’s not like he hasn’t done this with the both of them before, but it never was like this, on the bed, at night. 

Mark doesn’t seem to be fazed; he tugs Jeno back into his chest and answers the call. They talk for a while, but then with a glance at Jeno, he tells him briefly about the event of the night. Jeno blocks most of it out, trying to think about other things. He has been all fine for an hour already – all thanks to Mark. The older’s calming voice makes his eyes fall shut, the hand in his hair not helping. He lets the sleepiness take over him, knowing it’s better to fall asleep now than waiting for it to pass. 

‘’,,

He doesn’t open his eyes the first thing when he wakes up. He decides on lying there for a while longer, enjoying the sunlight warming up his face. It’s probably six in the morning, his body seems to like to wake up at that time, no matter when he has gone to sleep. His brain starts on waking up, too, making him remember that he’s not in his own bed, he’s in Mark’s – and then he remembers exactly why that is. 

He opens his eyes slowly and carefully, knowing better that to look straight at the rising sun. His gaze focuses on Mark’s face, and shortly after he realizes exactly how close it is to his. Natural instinct tells him to pull further away but he doesn’t. He is left there to admire his best friend’s all-too-perfect features this close up. Their faces have never been this close before, and Jeno is happy the other is sound asleep. 

For a second he lets himself drift into a fantasy that they could sleep like this every night, that the feelings Jeno is bearing for Mark (and Donghyuck) would be mutual. He finds himself staring at Mark’s slightly parted lips, and soon after he is desiring to touch them, to feel them against his own for just a fleeting moment. Would the other wake up if he kissed him?

“Hyung?” He calls to test the deepness of the dream Mark is engulfed in. The other doesn’t stir, doesn’t even react. Maybe Jeno should call again. His eyes fall back onto his lips. A peck wouldn’t hurt, right? His face moves closer till the tips of their noses bump, and Jeno feels like his heart is going to give out from beating this fast so early in the morning. 

He doesn’t end up doing it, doesn’t want to take advantage of this, of their friendship. He pulls his face away, turns on the bed so he is staring at the ceiling. Mark moves beside him, lets out a little noise resembling a name. His name. He looks to his side expectantly, sees the other still sleeping. Hmm…

He succeeds on climbing away from between the wall and Mark, making his way into the upper floor hall as silently as he can. It smells like pancakes, but then again, Mark’s home always smells good. He stares at himself in the bathroom mirror for a good while, inspecting his face for no special reason. A certain name rings in his ears suddenly. _Pretty thing._ He looks down at the sink. _Little bitch. Whore._ He washes his face with cold water, presses the heels of his palms into his eyes and slaps his cheeks a few times. It’s okay. He is fine. 

Downstairs the smell of pancakes gets thicker and Jeno can hear the drizzle of the hot pan on the stove. He peeks into the kitchen from the threshold, seeing Mark’s mother in front of the stove, humming in time with the radio next to her. The sunlight is painting the mostly white kitchen warm yellow, and it looks kind of nice, soft, in a way. 

“Good morning,” Jeno greets with careful tone, pads into the room with bare feet. Mark’s mother turns, smiles at him warmly. 

“Jeno! Good morning,” she tells him back, looking at the pan once again. Jeno walks next to her and she hugs him to her side, not being able to wrap both of her arms around him. They do this every time Jeno is staying the night. Both of them wake up before the clock hits six, and they can spend up to three hours just with the two of them in the kitchen, making breakfast or talking over a cup of coffee. It’s fine really, both Mark and his father (and Donghyuck, for he usually is here when Jeno is here) sleep later during the weekends. “I didn’t know you were staying the night,” she says, turning the pancake onto it’s other side. Jeno walks to the sink; he might as well help her with the dishes for the time being. “Is Donghyuckie here, too?”

“Oh, no. It’s just me and Mark,” he explains, fills the sink with hot water. The other lets out a surprised, ‘oh,’ and glances at Jeno. He doesn’t like the quirked brow she is sending his way. Does she think they did something? “We came back kind of late, something with hyungs’ car,” he swallows, looks back at the sink. She hums as a mark that she understands, and they fall into a comfortable silence. 

Mark appears from upstairs a good hour later, squinting his eyes and putting his hand before his mouth when he yawns. Jeno almost coos at his bedhead, but catches himself, bites the inside of his cheek. He kisses the crown of his mother’s head and sits next to Jeno, asks him how he is. He answers with a, ‘much better,’ and tries to dismiss Mark’s mother’s questioning eyes. Does she think her son would cheat on his boyfriend? Better yet, with Jeno? No way in hell. 

‘’,,

Donghyuck seems to invite himself to Mark’s place. 

Just after midday, when the movie playing on Mark’s laptop is ending, there is an exited sounding knock on Mark’s door. The older grunts, half yells that the door is open without looking away from the screen. The next few seconds go by so fast that Jeno isn’t even sure if they really happened. Donghyuck had ran in and straight to the bed where they both were sitting, somehow managed to make Jeno fall when wrapping his arms around him, and is now pinning him against the bed with his entire body. Jeno blinks, the ceiling is there, and when he looks down, Donghyuck’s face pops up, smiling so his teeth are showing. 

“Hello!” It’s almost funny how energetic Donghyuck can be compared to the lethargic mood he and Mark had been in just minutes ago. At the moment Mark is laughing at them, Donghyuck grinning like there is nothing wrong in the world. Jeno is aware of his face going red at the sudden proximity, but gets out a stuttered answer to the greeting. The other backs away eventually, freeing Jeno from the cage he had been trapped in. “What have you two been doing all morning? Something dirty, I suppose.” Donghyuck is wiggling his eyebrows at the both of them, and Mark is letting out a strangled laugh at that, playfully hitting his boyfriend for the dumb joke. 

They settle on watching a second movie. Donghyuck never asks how Jeno is, as people usually do when something has happened or simply when they meet again, but he knows it’s not like him. He knows how much Donghyuck cares, knows that that is how the other indicates that he considers Jeno’s feelings. He doesn’t ask because he doesn’t want to remind Jeno of why exactly he could be worried of his state of mind. Donghyuck is here to take his thoughts away from the happening, not to bring back the bad memories. 

Donghyuck keeps commenting on the movie; he always has some funny retort up his sleeve. It does make Jeno feel better, forget about the nagging in his head. He also takes notice on how Donghyuck wordlessly checks on him every few minutes. He holds skin-contact at all times, be it his hand, leg, shoulder, or even his head leaning onto Jeno’s. It’s nice, even though Jeno tries to convince himself that the other means nothing by it; he’s just simply caring for Jeno. 

And it’s not like Mark hadn’t cared for him, his ways are just a tad more reserved. He kept him company, talked with him when he needed it, held him when he wanted it. It’s just his way of doing things, it’s very Lee Mark, and he is happy to have the both of them – however he might feel for them. 

 

;;;

 

Three weeks later, Mark is draping his hand around Jeno’s shoulders, giving him a smile as they exit the theater building. Mark doesn’t blame him for being afraid of going into the dark night, he knows, but he can’t stop feeling slightly childish that he needs to be pulled into the yard he has waited all these years for someone to pick them up. He scans the courtyard with his eyes, heart skipping a beat when he spots something far too familiar. 

“Hyung,” he whispers, voice catching in his throat, immediately seeking safety from the other’s body. Mark glances at him, worry already inching onto his face. “That’s their car.” He gets the words out with difficulty, his head already replaying the memories of that horrendous night, feet freezing into their spots. 

“What?” Mark is looking at the car parked near them, his head catching onto the situation quickly. “Jeno, are you sure?” The older turns, looks at him. He nods, grips onto Mark’s arm more tightly. It doesn’t take long for Mark to start tugging him forward. “Come on, we’ll go around the building, if we are lucky, Mr. Nam hasn’t left yet.” 

Jeno won’t protest. He knows that he shouldn’t be looking around if the same man and woman are here, there is a bigger risk they’ll notice them – recognize them. They walk close to the outer wall of the theater, even though they need to pass close to the car, it’s fine. There’s only one corner they need to round before they will get to where Mr. Nam will be. The closer to the car they get, the more sure Jeno is of one thing. 

“Hyung, I can’t see them in the car. I think they might be–“ At that moment they round the corner, but come to a halt. So does the conversation that the two people in front of them had had. He is sure his heart forgets completely how to work at that. His ears zone out and time seems to lose it’s meaning. It’s them. Mark’s repeating a word, pulling him back. 

_Run._

He doesn’t know what makes him move, maybe adrenaline. He knows the two are right after them; he knows he’s not running fast enough. It’s at that same moment another car pulls to the parking lot. Neither Mark nor Jeno hesitate on running to it, Mark yanking the back door open, pushing Jeno in. There’s yelling, he realizes, but he’s trying to focus on the leather seat under them for now. He’s trembling all over and trying to catch his breath. He is safe. 

“Call the police,” is the last thing he hears before the car swings a little, the sound of a door being slammed shut coming to him short after. He can’t sit up, he can’t breathe. Mark is saying something and there is a weight on his side, but that’s all he can remember before it all goes black.

‘’,,

Their living room has never been this crowded. It has never been this quiet either; the TV is always on, and if it isn’t, there is music playing. But not now. Jeno is sitting on the couch, fluffy blanket draped around him, a mug of cocoa warming up his hands. Mark is sitting on his other side, his mother on the other. His father is sitting in the armchair, and Youngho and Hansol – who had been the angels that saved them – are sitting on the other couch next to them. Also Yuta, Taeyong, Taeil, and Donghyuck had found their way to Jeno’s small house. 

Jeno sniffles, tries to wipe the tears away from his cheeks. 

“I am sorry,” he apologizes for the nth time, not looking up from the mug. Mark proceeds to saying that it’s not his fault, like he has said as many times as Jeno has actually voiced those three words, but his mother cuts him off. 

“I still don’t understand why on earth you didn’t tell us when it happened the first time.” She is beyond angry, and Jeno knows that, hence the crying. 

“I-I was afraid,” he tries, sniffles because his nose keeps running. “I was afraid you’d make me stop going to the theater,” he continues, his father snorts. “You would have!” He lifts his gaze to his father, tone of his voice changing with new fervor. “I know you would have. You are over-protective, you would have locked me into my room so no one could touch me again.” 

It’s true. His parents are still treating him like a baby, that’s why he tells them nothing. He keeps things to himself, and if he needs to talk, he has a bunch of friends around him, every single one more understanding than either of his parents. 

“We are still obligated to know. You are under-age, still–“

“Still a child. Mom, I turn nineteen next year!” He knows the argument is childish, but he’s annoyed, and tired, and he just wants this night to be over. He wants this all to be over. That seems to be the end of it. His parents change glances, the room falling into silence once again. 

He hadn’t been out of it for long, Mark says he was blacked out for only under a minute. Mark was still talking with the emergency operator on the phone when Jeno had woken up, hand protectively petting his side. He doesn’t remember much of it, his head starting to clear at the point he could hear the sirens of police cars. Hansol and Youngho had somehow managed to keep the harassers from fleeing, Jeno is still not completely sure how. They all were asked a bunch of questions, and after a while, they were taken to the police station. At that point the rest of them had come along, the police called his parents and Mark had informed Donghyuck and Taeyong. 

It’s well past midnight, every one of them more or less asleep, some dozing off. Jeno rubs his face. He’s not sure why they are all still here. 

“We should all go to sleep,” Taeil concludes, he hasn’t said anything the whole night, only now speaking up. “It’s useless to stay up thinking about all of this.” Some of them file out of the house soon after, wishing everybody good (and a safe) night. Jeno doesn’t want to sleep alone, but he guesses he doesn’t have a lot of options, until Mark chimes in next to him.

“I’ll stay with Jeno,” he suggests and Jeno looks at him, smiles. “I think it’s better for someone to stay with him.” Sometimes he thinks the other knows how to read minds. Jeno’s mother looks at them disapprovingly.

“We thank you, Mark, for everything you’ve done, but I really don’t–“

“It’s okay. I’ll stay with him,” Yuta speaks up suddenly, already at the door, waiting for Taeyong to finish tying his shoelaces. Jeno’s mother frowns, but at the end of it gives in. She trusts Yuta. They wave the rest of them out, making sure that everyone has a ride home. 

‘’,,

Yuta hasn’t stayed the night in ages, but it’s nice. They stay up even though they are tired, talking about things they could never admit in the light of day. Yuta always succeeds in making Jeno feel better, and Jeno is glad, he couldn’t ask for a better brother. At one thirty in the morning he suddenly realizes that Renjun doesn’t even about know any of this. He has completely forgotten to fill one of his best friends in on the situation. He should talk with him soon. 

At some point Yuta becomes determined to find out the mysterious identity of Jeno’s crush. 

“Is it Ten?” He’s straight up listing off everyone they know at this point, not even trying. Jeno shakes his head repeatedly at everyone, letting out a noise of disapproval. “Is it one of the theater kids?”

“Nope.”

“Is it me?” he lets out with a giggle, dragging out the last letter. Jeno’s face turns with disgust, hitting the other on the shoulder.

“Hell no, don’t give yourself that much credit!” 

“Is it Mark?” The question hits him so quickly he misses a beat with his answer, face going blank as he stares at the other. Yuta starts laughing even before he can comprehend an answer. 

“No, no, no, it’s not.” He knows it’s a lost cause but he keeps trying, his face flushing red. “Come on, you didn’t give me time to answer!” 

“I knew it, I knew it!” The other rejoices next to him, laughing as silently as he can, Jeno’s parents sleeping down the hall. “You are red all over! Ouch – stop hitting me!” Jeno feels frustrated, but finds himself not being able to suppress the smile and eventual laugh that bubble from inside of him. Guess he can’t take it back now. 

“But you are only half right, though,” he finds his mouth letting out. Yuta glances at him, still smiling. 

“Yeah?” Something passes his features just then, grin widening. “Oh – ooooh! That’s why you asked about polyamory, isn’t it!” Jeno doesn’t answer, he knows the other will figure it out on his own. Yuta’s biting his lip, gaze searching Jeno’s. “It’s Donghyuck, isn’t it?” The grin falls from his face just before he says it, tone turning more serious. Jeno doesn’t have to answer, he knows that Yuta knows. 

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone,” Jeno asks of him, suddenly falling into the suffocating atmosphere Yuta had created in mere seconds. The older nods, gaze never falling from his eyes. Yuta doesn’t know how to react, but Jeno doesn’t want him to feel pity for him; it’s bad enough that he knows himself that his situation doesn’t look that good. Yuta shrugs then.

“Why don’t you go for it?” Jeno blinks, he is taken aback.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean...” the other begins, voice doing a funny little lilt as he drags the words out, eyes finally moving around the room as he settles onto his back. “Now that I think about it, the way they act around you,” he says looking back at Jeno. “I don’t think the feelings you have are one-sided.” Jeno wants to laugh. He lets out a snort. Yeah right. Yuta looks up at the ceiling. “No, just think about it! Have you seen how they look at you with love in their eyes? The way they take care of you, like, you’ve told me about it many times! Ugh, and all the damn skinship! I’m sure you aren’t the only one who initiates that.” 

“Yeah, you are right, but – but!” Yuta is smiling, thinking that he won. “But all of that is just how they care for friends. Donghyuck is clingy with everybody, and Mark just… they both know I’m going through a tough time.” He knows Yuta is just trying to make him feel better – not so hopeless that he has been. He knows. Mark and Donghyuck would never see him like that. Yuta is opening his mouth to protest but Jeno speaks first. “Now, if you’ll let me, I’d like to go to sleep.” He turns on the bed so he’s facing the wall, knowing that he left the conversation at a wrong time. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, doesn’t want to crash down even harder than he already has. 

Yuta is still contemplating on what to say. Jeno asks him to turn the lights off, and he does, turning away from the other. “G’night,” Yuta tries but doesn’t get an answer. Jeno pulls the covers more onto himself, trying to forget the way his stomach keeps turning with sadness, bad memories, and the long, long day he has had. He knows he won’t be able to sleep. 

 

;;;

 

Yuta and Taeyong’s bed is the most comfortable thing Jeno has ever lied on, he thinks as he stares the brown ceiling. The mattress isn’t too soft but it isn’t too hard either, and the blankets and pillows seem to be made out of something not from this earth. They feel like cotton candy; light but warm, a touch of silkiness making them even more comfortable. 

He’s not alone, Renjun is lying right beside him on his phone, Yuta is sitting against the head of the bed, and Sicheng and Jaehyun are on the floor, leaning their backs against the bed. The pair are studying for a test, and Yuta is being as generous as lending his time to Jeno. Jeno is memorizing his lines for the upcoming play, Yuta reading the lines before his own from the script, and Jeno spelling out the words as well as he can remember them. 

“And for that, I shall declare that I’d rather die than let you take her away from me,” he says in a monotonous voice, only in need to memorize the words without going into his role. He smiles, knowing he got it right, and glances at Renjun. He’s smiling at his phone, tapping letter after letter in high speed. It’s Jaemin, he knows, even before he looks at his screen. They have been texting for a good while now (Renjun got his number only when he bribed Jeno to ask it for him – and don’t tell Renjun but Jeno already had it, and the time he used to, “go ask him for it,” he actually spent just chatting and giggling with Donghyuck around the corner) and Jeno can just see the hearts in the other’s eyes as he types the endless sentences on his screen. 

They are laying on the bed so their legs are dangling off the edge, even thought the bed would be wide enough for them to lie there in full length and still be fully on it. Yuta is still flipping the pages of the script, searching for the next scene where Jeno shows up in. He doesn’t have that many lines, but he feels like his character is still important in the story; it gives it some spice. 

“Oh my – fuck,” gasps Renjun all of a sudden, one hand slamming the phone against the bed and the other slapping against his face. All of them pause at that, Renjun is not one to curse, and the fact that they have no idea what has been going on since he had started texting on his phone doesn’t ease their minds.

“I-Is everything okay?” Jeno is the first to ask, rising from his position on the bed. Renjun isn’t crying, not shivering, no nothing. He’s just laying there, tips of his ears turning red. Sicheng and Jaehyun are looking at Renjun, then at each other, and then back at Renjun. Jeno does the same with Yuta, not one of them knowing how to react. “Um…”

“He asked – oh God,” Renjun mumbles out, other hand joining the first one onto his face when the blush spreads. “He asked me out,” he exclaims and a smile makes it’s way onto Jeno’s face, earlier concern fading away quickly. “Oh my God.” The older three are confused. Apparently they don’t know about Renjun’s little crush.

“Yeah? What did you answer?” Jeno feels thrill making it’s way up his spine, he’s happy for the other. 

“Excuse me, who are we talking about?” asks Yuta, voice hesitant as he looks at the two pairs. 

“Injunnie’s crush, Na Jaemin,” Jeno answers without missing a beat, earning a smack onto his shoulder from the now-completely-red Renjun. ”What? You certainly haven’t kept it a secret either!” Yuta chuckles and the two on the floor turn back to their own things, not bothering on teasing the younger one. “No but seriously, what did you tell him?” 

“Nothing! I shut the convo when he asked!” Renjun is going to blow up from embarrassment. Jeno keeps smiling, this is just too cute. 

“If you don’t answer him soon, he will think you don’t want to go out with him,” Jaehyun pipes up and into the conversation from the floor even though he is reading the textbook on his lap, and Renjun cries out into his palms. 

“Do you want to go?” Jeno continues, stares at the other. 

“Of course he does,” Yuta says and snatches the forgotten phone from where it lies close to his feet.

“Hey!” Renjun finally gets up, fights to get the object back. “Give it back, hyung!” He gets it eventually, at the same time Jeno’s phone chimes in his pocket. He fishes it into his hand, glances down at it.

 

_Donghyuckie_

_Hey so Mark totally bailed on us, said he needed to study because the teacher announced a test for next week. Seems that it’s gonna be just the two of us ;)_

Jeno gnaws at his lip, shutting the world out when he stares at the text. 

They had earlier agreed on holding a movie-night at Donghyuck’s, hence he’s at Yuta’s place since the older offered on taking him there. His parents are still mad at him and when Jeno had not complied to grounding (“mom, dad, I’m too old for this and so are you”), they had started to sulk. Jeno had just rolled his eyes at them, told them he would be home by eleven. 

He replies to the text with an, ‘okay,’ deciding to ignore the suggestive emoticon. It’s just how Donghyuck writes. When he glances up, both Renjun and Yuta are staring at him. He lifts his brow in question. They shrug, look away. That was odd. 

‘’,,

“I really wasn’t staring at him!” It’s just the three of them in Yuta’s truck, Renjun sitting in the middle because Jeno’s stop is first. The sun has already made it’s way behind the tree-line, painting the sky in front many beautiful shades and hues of lilac, pink, orange, and yellow. The radio is playing but the volume was turned down so they could hear each other better. “I was looking in his _direction,_ not at him,” Renjun tries desperately even though both Jeno and Yuta are wheezing with laughter, tears of joy pushing out of their eyes. 

“Yeah, and the longing sighs were just a hum in my ears,” Jeno muses, wipes the tears from the corners of his eyes. “Really, all of us know what a crush is, how it works. It’s not that big of a deal,” he continues but the sudden silence that meets him, makes him wriggle in his skin. Jeno and Renjun glance at each other, and Jeno can’t miss the face the other is making.

“Yeah.” Renjun’s voice is strangled, and Jeno wants to hit himself, knowing that the all of them were taken back to that night when Jeno was made aware of Renjun’s feelings for him. 

“So, uh, wasn’t it that we turn right from the next?” Yuta asks to change the topic, even though Jeno knows he knows the route to Donghyuck’s house by heart. He lightens the mood, smiles, hums to the radio. Jeno nods, tells him that yes, they turn right. They catch themselves falling into another conversation after a silent agreement on moving on from the awkward encounter in the lighthearted chatting.

It doesn’t take long after that that the car pulls up to it’s stop. Jeno’s eyes linger on Donghyuck’s home just a moment longer before he looks back at the other two. Both of them are smiling. Renjun has a bright smile telling him to not worry about the earlier, and when he looks at Yuta, he can see a knowing smile. It’s not playful, only reassuring, as he now knows about Jeno’s attachment on Donghyuck and Mark. He mirrors the gesture back at them, bids goodbye before stepping out and closing the door. 

The car speeds off while he walks to the front door. The house isn’t big, only inhabiting Donghyuck and his mother. It’s weird really, the sudden swing in his mood. Just a few minutes ago he was feeling light, letting the atmosphere in the car make him forget about his worries. And it’s not like he is worried now, more like tense, fidgety. His heart is beating hurriedly against his chest, teeth catching the inside of his cheek. His hand is hesitant as it lifts to meet the doorbell. 

The door flings open soon after, and he is engulfed into a bone crushing hug before he knows it, giggle bubbling from inside of him when he hears a similar sound leave the other’s lips. Jeno wraps his hands around the other immediately, letting Donghyuck swirl him around for a moment. _He smells really nice,_ Jeno thinks, doesn’t even take it back or scold himself. It’s the truth.

“I already thought you weren’t coming,” the other remarks when he pulls away enough to look at him. For a second, Jeno is left staring at the other. He has dyed his hair and it’s parted so a slice of his forehead is showing. He looks really good, too, what is all of this? When the other realizes that Jeno isn’t going to say anything, he continues, “it’s a lot warmer inside, y’know.” The moment Donghyuck’s hands leave him, he feels cold, lost, almost. Somehow, it feels foreign, like he is in a very real dream. Even though Donghyuck is just being Donghyuck, it’s like something else is in the air, too. Nervousness. 

Jeno crouches down to take his shoes off after hanging his jacket in the coat rack, feeling Donghyuck’s gaze on him, not faltering even when a third person joins them in the hall.

“Jeno!” Ms. Lee is always happy when she meets him, but were the excitement real or not, no one knows. “It’s been a while,” she claims, waits for Jeno to get back upright before giving him a halfhearted hug. 

“It’s nice to be here again,” he tells her with a smile, but finds himself glancing back at Donghyuck. There’s something close to a grin on his face, or maybe not a grin, a smile? Anyway, something is the tiniest bit off about it all, there is hesitance in everything the other does, he’s not acting normally. Jeno finds it hard to look at Donghyuck because of that, and he looks so God damn good – he always does, of course, but now he seems breathtaking. There is something sincere in his eyes, the way he looks at Jeno, the way his body moves. Jeno feels weird. 

“We’ll be in my room,” Donghyuck tells his mother who hasn’t stopped from babbling on and on. Jeno just then realizes that he hadn’t been listening to any of it. Oops?

The hand holding has become an automation, and so Jeno doesn’t flinch when Donghyuck’s hand reaches for his. His heart just feels like it’s going to burst. He lets the other lead him to his room and just before the door shuts behind them, Donghyuck’s mother’s voice can be heard. 

“The food is ready in an hour, boys!” The other yells an, ‘okay,’ back in the hallway, and then shuts the door. 

Jeno’s hands feel clammy as he sits on the floor in front of Donghyuck’s bed. It has been at least two months since he has been here last. Not a lot has changed, expect that the old tiny television screen Donghyuck earlier had has been replaced by a bigger one Jeno retraces was earlier located in the living room. Maybe they bought a new one and Donghyuck got this as a hand-me-down. He hears the other hum, make his way next to him. Jeno busies himself with the corner of the rug.

“What do you wanna watch?” The other’s breath fans across Jeno’s cheek, and he fights the blush with full force. 

“Um, what do you have?” Jeno lets out a chuckle, looks at the black screen where the two of them are reflected on. Donghyuck is so close, looking straight at him. The other recoils, moves to the drawer under the TV where all the movie-cases are located. He digs it for a while, giving Jeno some time to breathe. He checks his phone, and after that, he studies the movie-, and band posters on the walls. 

“Okay, so, Terminator, Iron Man, or High school Musical?” Donghyuck lists the movies that are in his hands and then looks back at Jeno. He is left to stare at the DVDs, not knowing what to say. “Or something else?” The options are really random, thinks Jeno.

“I don’t know?” It sounds more like a question than a statement. “I haven’t seen any of those.” Donghyuck’s jaw drops at that. 

“You haven’t seen these? Everyone has – what,” the other starts laughing. “Not even Terminator? That’s a classic, dude!” Jeno dares to glance at the other, and his heart swells in his chest when he sees him laughing. “Alrighty, seems that we are educating you tonight!” 

It’s hard to concentrate on a movie when Donghyuck is sitting right next to him, Jeno finds. He’s so close in fact, their shoulders keep brushing, and it’s making Jeno go insane. He can’t really grasp the plot of the movie as he keeps focusing on the warmth radiating from the other’s body. He’s not a big fan of action movies, either, and he cringes at the old effects. Maybe he’s too used to watching newer movies with better graphics that it’s weird to watch something from the 80s. 

His body freezes into it’s spot when he feels Donghyuck shift. He takes his hand mindlessly, starts to play with Jeno’s fingers, commenting on the movie. 

“You haven’t looked at me all night,” the other says after a while, making Jeno jolt with the weirdness of the statement. The volume of his voice lowers a few stages. “Didn’t even say anything about my hair,” he hums, faces Jeno, who keeps his eyes glued to the movie he has had no interest in the whole time. He gulps, tries to act like his heart isn’t trying to jump out through his throat. “Am I that ugly?” Jeno wants to scream at him. Shit, how can he be like this?

“God, Hyuck, you are anything but ugly,” he mutters out with a shaky breath, eyes falling to the rug. 

“Yeah? You still aren’t looking at me, though,” the other says, grins. Jeno isn’t sure what he is chasing after, what is it really that makes him act like this. He can tell the other is still nervous, but not even close to how nervous he is. What is even going on? Why is the atmosphere like this? Jeno takes a deep breath and glances at the other, holds his curious gaze for two seconds, and then looks back at the television. “How’s the movie?” Donghyuck is still staring at him, everything else forgotten. 

“It’s fine,” Jeno forces out. He is sweating, even thought the room in kind of cold. Donghyuck’s humming again, letting go of Jeno’s hand. God, is he drunk or something? All of a sudden he can feel a hot, slightly damp hand cradle his jaw, and the hair on his neck stands up. He’s made to look at the other. Donghyuck is mostly serious, the corner of his lip twitching upwards and his breathing is heavy, eyes soft as they dart over Jeno’s face. Jeno can’t recall ever being this close to the other, and he can just feel his own breath catching in his throat. “Shit.” He doesn’t mean to let it out, but his mind is running in high speed, body forgetting how to work properly. Donghyuck grins wholly at that, and Jeno realizes the itch in him. He wants to touch. 

“Hmm?” The other is playing with him, he knows. Does he know about Jeno’s feelings for him? He’s biting his lip now, his eyes moving down to Jeno’s. Is he really dreaming? He must be dreaming, this can’t be happening. 

Jeno feels like he’s losing time. The other is coming closer gradually, he realizes, and somehow he feels like it’s not a joke. That maybe Donghyuck is being serious. He can’t even control it when his eyes flutter shut, the movie and everything else forgotten. He wants this, and if Donghyuck wants it, too, he’s not one to stop him. 

_Mark._

His eyes fly open when their noses touch. 

_Mark._

He is scrambling backwards on the floor, heart thumping loudly in his ears. Donghyuck’s face is scrunching up in concern.

“What are you doing?” Jeno can just feel the burn on his lips where Donghyuck’s had just brushed. 

“Well, what does it look like I’m doing?” The other tries to chuckle with the sentence but Jeno can’t join in. He can’t believe he was so stupid. 

“I – You can’t just do that, Hyuck!” Jeno straightens his posture, frown deepening. “You can’t cheat on Mark! He doesn’t deserve that!” He can see how Donghyuck’s jaw falls slack, eyes widening. “If you are unhappy with him, you need to talk about it,” he continues. He’s angry both with himself and the other. 

“Jeno, I wasn’t–“

“The hell you weren’t! Kissing is cheating!” The other falls silent, and Jeno realizes that there’s a sex-scene rolling on the television screen. What a timing. “I need to go,” he declares, drops the other’s gaze, and gets up. The other follows suit, tries to say something but Jeno dismisses it, walks out of the room. Donghyuck follows him back to the front door, staring helplessly as Jeno shuffles with his shoes. 

“Please, don’t go. Let’s talk about this.” Donghyuck’s hissing, probably afraid that his mother will hear. He grabs his wrist when Jeno’s turning away. “Please, Jeno, I wasn’t–“

“Are you leaving already?” It’s Donghyuck’s mother. They both turn to look at her. 

“Yes, I’m sorry, I can’t stay,” Jeno says, rips his hand away from the other’s grip. “Something came up.” She insists him to stay to at least eat with them, Donghyuck looking at him pleadingly, but he declines, only thing on his mind is to get out. “Talk with Mark,” he mutters at the other before basically running out of the house. 

After the first block he slows down his pace to walking, hands coming around him to protect himself from the cold. Of course he would forget his jacket at Donghyuck’s place. 

After the second block he can already feel the tears trying to push themselves out of his eyes. He doesn’t want Mark and Donghyuck to be unhappy together. He doesn’t want them to break up – oh, he doesn’t want either of them to be sad, because if they are sad, so is Jeno. He keeps walking, feels the cold bite into his skin through his clothes. 

His mind doesn’t stop now that it has started. It’s not only this situation anymore, he feels like the whole world is crashing down on him. He keeps thinking about all the hurt he has brought to Renjun, to anyone, really. He thinks about the way Donghyuck had cried in his arms that day at school when he had been made fun of. He thinks about the harassers at the theater. 

He can barely see in front of him through the tears. His legs feel numb now from the freezing air and the walking. He comes to a halt at a bus stop. There stands a lonely little class-cubicle with a single led-light in the ceiling to shield the people waiting for the bus from the merciless weather. Jeno doesn’t really think about it as he sits onto the ground, leaning his back against the cubicle wall and pulling his legs up against his torso. There he sits, tears falling and head yelling. Waiting for nothing. He just wants to go home. 

He fishes his phone from his pocket, navigates it for Yuta’s number. The other sounds alarmed when he hears Jeno’s voice. He doesn’t try to hide it. He feels like shit. 

It feels like an eternity before Yuta’s truck pulls up to him. At that point he has raked his mind for every memory he has from the last few months. 

“Shit, Jeno! What the hell happened?” He opens his other eye, sees Yuta run to him, and crouch before him. “Fuck, where is your jacket? You’ll freeze to death like this,” Yuta is flailing over him, taking off his jacket and draping it around Jeno. His mouth and everything else seems to be frozen shut, he can barely move at this point. 

Yuta takes good care of him; he asks him tens of times if he is okay, if he’s hurt. He runs his gaze over Jeno, looking for blood, or anything, really. He half carries him into the car, puts the heater to use. After ten minutes he can already feel his fingers that are pressed against the blower where the warm air is pushed through. 

He tells Yuta about his night, how Donghyuck was acting weirdly. He tells him that he doesn’t want Donghyuck to cheat on Mark, that he doesn’t want to be apart of any of this. 

“Jeno,” the other says after he has thought about his words for a while. He places his hand onto his still numb thigh. “I don’t think he was trying to cheat on Mark.” They share a quick glance before Yuta looks back to the road. 

Jeno doesn’t need to ask, he knows what the other means. Donghyuck wanted to kiss him not because he wanted to cheat on Mark but because he likes Jeno as much as he likes him. And even though Jeno wouldn’t want to believe it, he finds it hard not to at this point. He blames his frozen brain and tired mind. 

‘’,,

Jeno feels sorry that he’s using Yuta like this. He’s trying to find his keys at the same time as keeping Jeno standing. He curses, where the hell are they? 

Jeno is notably warmer than he was good half an hour ago when he was sitting at the bus stop, but it still hurts to move, his muscles feel like they are going to shatter into million little pieces. He’s not shivering anymore, his body all too used to the chill of the late-fall-early-winter wind, and even though he knows that’s probably not a good thing, he can’t really put his mind into his frozen state. He is tired, numb, and dead, both physically and emotionally. 

Yuta gets the door open half a minute after Jeno’s eyes have given up. He hasn’t even realized that they have fallen shut before Yuta calls his name. They shuffle inside, don’t bother to take their shoes off. It takes Jeno miserably long to notice that Taeyong is there, too. He had come to look who’s at the door. 

“Please get something warm to drink,” Yuta’s voice is shivering, he must be cold, too, since he gave his jacket to Jeno. “And food,” he continues and Jeno looks at Taeyong. His eyes are big and brows knitted together as he stares at them; they must be a sight. 

He nods, disappears though the open door into the kitchen. Yuta walks them there, too, and when Jeno looks into the mirror on the wall on their way there, he flinches at his own reflection. His lips are lilac-colored (although they are getting better) and his skin is as white as death – the contrast with his pitch black hair not helping. No wonder Taeyong had stared. Yuta gets them into the room and plants the both of them onto the bar stools at the kitchen island. 

It doesn’t take long for the rest of the house to wake up either. Dongyoung is the first one to appear to the kitchen, only a few moments after them, but then turns right back to get blankets. Taeil trails after his boyfriend when they come back, moving straight to make them some tea. Hansol and Youngho had both already gone to sleep for they have to wake up early. Taeil and Dongyoung help Taeyong with the soup, try to get the two to warm up. Taeil sits next to Jeno, watches as Dongyoung moves closer to Taeyong, leans in probably to ask what is going on. Taeyong just shrugs at him, looks back to the soup. 

Jeno doesn’t really feel like talking. He is drained of energy and at the moment he doesn’t feel like pouring his heart out for a second time. They just sit there, sip the hot soup to the point Jeno feels almost normal again. He feels bad for it but both Yuta and Taeyong agree on him sleeping with his brother, Taeyong making a bed on the living room couch. It’s not really fair for him to evict Taeyong from his own bed, _again,_ but the older tells him not to worry, it’s not like Jeno stays over every night. 

When they finally get to bed, Jeno falls asleep almost immediately. He really is tired with everything. Life, mostly. 

 

;;;

 

“We need to talk.” Jeno has successfully been able to avoid Donghyuck the whole day. Every time he has seen just a bit of the other he has turned right back, doing a one-eighty just to be sure. He sniffles, his nose keeps running. He hopes he’s not catching a cold, but that might be wishful thinking at this point. 

“Oh yeah?” He’s staring at the other full on. He really wishes he could just walk off, stay in his bed for a month and talk to no one. He’s tired of something happening all the time. He needs a fucking break. “Have you talked to Mark?” Donghyuck shifts under his glare, and Jeno’s stomach turns in frustration. “Thought so.”

“I haven’t been able to, yet,” he defends himself, mirrors Jeno’s posture by crossing his hands over his chest. Jeno leans back just a tad, letting out a sigh. “Let’s meet at Mark’s place after school?” He sounds stiff for some reason. Jeno lets out a huff.

“And you know that’s okay with him how? You just said you haven’t talked with him. I’m getting sick of you thinking that you don’t have to speak with your boyfriend about anything,” he says, looks away at the other students filing in and out of the near cafeteria. He’s hungry, and he gulps, feels that his throat protest.

“Dammit, Jeno, of course I’m going to ask him! Just tell me you’ll be there because all the three of us need to talk like adults _for fucking once._ All of this is so childish and I’m sick of it – you are sick of it!” He’s right, Jeno thinks, sighs once more. 

“Okay,” he lets out finally, shrugs and sniffles again.

“Okay? Yeah. I’ll text you if he says that it’s not okay.” And with that Donghyuck walks off, grins at him with glint in his eyes, the expression not quite reaching his eyes. Jeno’s not sure why, but it calms him down a fair bit, even if he’s not sure what the other meant by it. 

‘’,,

He’s anxious as he waits for someone to open the door. All of it is just too familiar, too much on his skin right now. The wind tells him that it’s not going to be long for the first snow to fall, and he feels exposed now that he still lacks his jacket, and Mark’s front yard is treeless and everyone on the street can see him standing there. He is shifting his weight from one leg to the other, thinking that maybe the doorbell doesn’t work. Maybe no one heard him. Maybe he could just turn back and ride home by a bus. 

He’s aware that this is it. This is the day that he will be rejected by both Donghyuck and Mark. He doesn’t feel very optimistic. 

He’s afraid that he can’t say it out loud – that he can’t tell them how he feels for them, even though he knows he has to. It’s now or never. And maybe if he survives the moment they will tell him that they don’t feel the same, he will stop daydreaming about them, stop seeking for their affection. Maybe some beautiful day it stops hurting so damn much. 

The door opens and he sees Mark. He’s smiling, his pretty features turning up as he sees Jeno. He tells him to come in, shuts the door behind him like a real gentleman, and then hugs him, tells him that his skin is as cold as ice as if he didn’t know it already. The hug lasts longer than necessary, not that Jeno is complaining but he doesn’t want Mark to be cold, too. 

“Is Donghyuck–“ he doesn’t need to finish, the other comes to stand a few feet away from them. Jeno pulls away reluctantly, sharing a look with Mark. It all feels so weird, they are never this quiet. “Have you talked?” Mark doesn’t start nodding right away, but when he does, he smiles again. Jeno is relieved, to say at least. 

“I, uh, brought your jacket,” Donghyuck tells him, points at the familiar piece of clothing in Mark’s hat rack. Jeno smiles at him experimentally, nods. The gesture is returned.

They move to Mark’s room, fit themselves onto the narrow bed. The silence is somehow awkward, not one of them knowing how to start. 

“So, uh...” Donghyuck’s the first to speak up. “Yesterday,” he continues, latches his eyes onto Jeno, and he can feel Donghyuck’s blush appear onto his cheeks, too. Maybe it’s better to get it over with. “I really wasn’t trying to kiss you because I wanted to cheat on Mark, I–“ Jeno’s heart starts to beat so fast he is sure that this is when it’s going to give out. He’s sure that he heard wrong, that Donghyuck really just didn’t say that. Was Yuta really right? Jeno sees Mark taking the other’s hand, smiling at him reassuringly. “I didn’t even think of it like that. I was so shocked, I couldn’t even tell you that it wasn’t what I was aiming for. I’d never…” He feels dizzy, stomach doing flips and lungs forgetting that he needs air. Does Donghyuck really feel the same as him? Donghyuck’s eyes are soft, body seeking closeness from his boyfriend as a small smile climbs onto his lips. “I-I like you, Jeno.” 

_What?_

Out of words, that’s how he feels, as his mouth falls open. He sees Donghyuck giggle, and the beautiful sound fills his ears. A lonely, ‘but,’ falls from his lips but he can’t continue. He shifts his gaze from Donghyuck to Mark and back. Mark doesn’t look fazed even if he is, his gaze on Donghyuck loving. Should Jeno pinch himself? Just to be sure. Donghyuck giggles again, and Jeno’s pretty sure he is in heaven. 

“It doesn’t mean that I don’t love Mark hyung anymore,” he says to the both of them, finally looking back at his boyfriend. 

(There is a little moment of, “oh, you love me now?” And, “shut up! No, I’ll take that back, I hate you.” With a playful push, before it goes back to the main conversation again.)

Jeno presses his legs tighter against his torso, feels his whole body tingle. He hasn’t still fully realized that this is all real, that Donghyuck just confessed to him and this is all really happening – man, he will be crushed when they admit that it’s just a prank. He scolds himself, maybe for once he should believe that this is real life, not just a fairy tale. 

The two are looking at him, waiting for him to say something. 

“I, wow…” He clears his throat, Donghyuck’s grinning and Jeno’s going to black out for sure. “Is this really happening – I mean, are you sure? This is not just because you were aware of my feelings?” Jeno’s stuttering, feeling his voice give out as he talks. Donghyuck jumps, and he and Mark both startle at that.

“So, it’s true? You like me back?” The conversation is a mess in Jeno’s head. At the same time he is happy out of his mind and doubting everything about it. Jeno looks at Mark, nods once. He can feel his face, head, whole body heat up, and he’s sure it’s both the way Donghyuck squeals and the fever that is coming onto him. 

He feels a weight lift from his shoulders. Yes, this is really happening.

“And I’m not the only one,” says Donghyuck, and for a moment Jeno is lost. The other glances at Mark, Jeno following his gaze straight to the older’s blushing face. _What the hell?_

“Okay so for a good while I thought I was the cheater here,” Mark begins as he looks at Jeno who deadpans. He sounds somehow defensive even if there is nothing to be defensive about. “I mean, I couldn’t just tell Hyuck that I feel something for you, too.” He’s looking directly at Jeno now, and holy shit, is he saying what it sounds like he’s saying? Jeno can’t comprehend his feelings at that moment.

“We really should have talked about this so much earlier,” Donghyuck pipes in, hums for a good measure.

“Wait, are you too saying that…?” Jeno doesn’t know how to finish the sentence and he is left to gesture between them with his hands awkwardly. The whole of Mark’s head is red now and he’s biting his lip, nodding once. “Oh my God.” Jeno buries his face into his hands. This really can’t be happening.

“I – I mean it’s fine if you don’t–“

“No! No, no, no, hyung!” He knows it’s weird but laughter bubbles from inside of him, and for a moment all that echoes in the room is the happy noise he can’t stop making. Suddenly, all in the world is fine. “Hyung, I like you, too!” He doesn’t even flinch as he says it. It’s effortless and he doesn’t hesitate for a second. Mark’s dumbfounded and suddenly Donghyuck’s laughing, too, draping his arms around his boyfriend while in the middle of his giggles he stutters, ‘I told you so! I told you so!’

Fucking happy, that’s how he feels. 

“Can I finally kiss you now?” Donghyuck doesn’t move closer, he straight up jumps Jeno. He’s so close, it takes Jeno’s eyes a moment to focus on him. He blinks. _Yes._

“I-I’m sick,” he stutters, tries to look somewhere else. The smile is still etched onto his face, happiness lifting his features, even if hesitance creeps in without him noticing. “I don’t want you to catch a cold because of me.” Donghyuck’s face turns in concern.

“Sick? Since when?” He’s so eager Jeno wants to laugh again. “Or are you just bluffing? You can’t escape these lips forever,” Donghyuck says, voice lilting with mischief, as he looks down Jeno’s face. The blush is painted permanently onto his face now, it’s going to be there for a while. His breath catches as Donghyuck’s smile stretches.

“I-I – is that okay?” He directs the question at Mark albeit his gaze is locked Donghyuck’s mouth already, eyes fluttering when Donghyuck’s hand softly lands onto his cheek. He can hear a chuckle from the older.

“Only if I get one, too.” God, he is going to die because of them someday.

The first kiss is sweet, something he doesn’t expect from Donghyuck. Their lips fit together but they don’t move, only focusing on the sensation of it. Jeno’s chest tingles, joy rippling in his insides. The both start to giggle and they pull away just a tad. No one gets to say anything before Donghyuck’s kissing him again, this time with more fervor. His thumb slides over Jeno’s face as his lips move just a little against Jeno’s, him following suit closely. It’s innocent, but it’s blowing Jeno’s mind because for one, he never thought this day would come and two, it’s so much better in real life than in his fantasies. 

“Hey! Save some for me, too!” It’s Mark, and Jeno pulls away from the whining Donghyuck at that. The next moments go by with haste; Jeno barely realizes it when Mark moves closer. A sudden hesitance passes his face. “I-If that’s okay…” Jeno wants to hit him. 

“Just fuckin’…” he’s muttering, but he knows the other got it when smiling lips meet his after pulling the other in by the back of his neck. Mark’s much more eager, and it makes Jeno yelp, almost lose his balance. It’s breathtaking, makes his head spin. When they pull away, then laugh, don’t bother to open their eyes yet. 

“God, I’ve been wanting to do that for ages,” Mark declares softly which gets them all to smile. The hug that follows once again makes him almost fall over. Maybe his position on the bed isn’t optimal. It’s quiet for a moment, and Jeno feels better than in months. But… something is missing. He opens his other eye, sees Donghyuck sitting on the bed, no intentions to move. He lights up like a puppy seeing food when Jeno reaches his hand for him, invites him into the hug. 

The force he uses to haul himself at Jeno and wrap his hands on his other side makes him finally fall over, all of them yelling and then laughing as they land onto the bed. They all look at each other, happiness and love written over their faces. 

“Lee Jeno,” says Donghyuck, changing glances with Mark. 

“Will you be our boyfriend?” Mark finishes the question, and hell, if Jeno is going to wake up now, he will curse himself under the ground. He doesn’t, obviously, he’s left to stare at them, not rushing because really, they all know the answer already. 

“Well, it does look like you’ve got me pinned down to this,” he retorts smugly, pointing at their hands crossing over his chest, literally pinning him into place. He knows the joke is terrible but they all laugh anyway. Jeno couldn’t be happier even if after it he starts coughing his lungs out. 

Shit. He really is in love. 

 

;;;

 

Jeno groans, pulls the covers more onto himself. He can’t remember the last time he was sick, which probably explains that he had no idea he could feel this drained physically. It’s the second day he hasn’t gone to school, too weak to even walk to the kitchen without leaning against the walls. 

He had gotten Mark sick, too, he knew it was a bad idea to kiss them – _his boyfriends._ He feels giddy at the thought. 

There is a knock on the door, and he glances at the clock. His mother has probably come home from work. 

“Yeah,” he croaks out, pries his eyes open. Who he sees is not his mother, but Donghyuck. “Hey,” he greets, a little surprised, lifts himself just a tad to look at the other better. Donghyuck’s grinning, and he sets his bag onto the floor. The other sits onto the bed next to him, pushes him back down gently by the shoulder. 

“Wow, you look like shit.” Really? That’s the first thing he says? 

“Thanks, I know. And I feel like shit, too,” Jeno lets out, turns his head when he coughs so it’s not right into Donghyuck’s face. “What are you doing here? I mean, how did you get in?” 

“I got off the bus the same time your mom came home. She let me in.” Jeno feels weird now that the other is here, staring down at him as he lies there, helpless. There is something in his eyes, making Jeno feel funny. A look passes his features as he remembers something, and he bends down to dig his backpack. “I went to the store on my way here and decided I needed to get you something so I wouldn’t be a complete asshole…”

“Oh, you didn’t have to–“ Jeno begins but gets cut off when the other silences him with a shush. 

“And I stood there a good while, trying to come up with something that would be useful but wouldn’t make me look like a total softy – and would retain my evil demeanor.” He gets back upright when he finds what he was looking for, and Jeno looks down at his hands and finds a pack of cookies. “I brought you cookies, so when you eat them in the bed, the crumbles roll into the sheets and you’ll be really uncomfortable till the point you get up and change the bedding.” Donghyuck grins, places the pack onto his nightstand next to his now-empty thermos bottle, earlier filled with tea. Jeno can’t but roll his eyes and smile. 

“Thanks for the snacks.” 

“You are welcome.” Donghyuck hums, places his hand on Jeno’s cheek, making him look away. He leans down, places a peck onto Jeno’s forehead. They both giggle, and Jeno blushes. He leaves pecks onto his nose, eyes, cheeks, and is then left to hover over Jeno’s lips. “Look at you going all red from a few kisses,” he tries to tease, even though he is at least as red as Jeno is. 

“I have fever, I’m supposed to be red,” Jeno tells him back, ghosting his hand over the other’s cheek, too. “And just so you know, you are being a total softy at the moment,” he continues, bites his lip. Donghyuck only hums again, eyes flying over his face in a drowsy manner and then settling onto his mouth. Jeno’s chest is tingling again. “I don’t want to get you sick, too,” he says when the other makes a move closer, holds his face so their lips don’t touch. Donghyuck groans but smiles.

“I’ve already gotten the bug, if I have, silly,” he retorts. “And what the hell makes you think that I want to go to that God awful school one more day without either of you there? Jisung and Chenle are lame and Renjun and Jaemin just keep flirting with each other. I’m dying slowly, believe me.” Jeno chuckles, feels a new coughing fit forming in his throat. “If I didn’t know better, I’d already think that you don’t want to kiss me.” 

Jeno thinks back to the day they had all been at Mark’s place, stomach filling with butterflies as he recalls the making out session after the Most Stressful Conversation Of The Century. He chuckles again, and finally lets Donghyuck kiss him, shutting his eyes when their lips meet. He could certainly live off of this alone. 

“Move over,” the other asks of him after a while. Donghyuck moves under the blanket with him, both realizing that the other is just the right temperature for them. It’s a two-way-deal, Jeno thinks as Donghyuck wraps around him for warmth and him doing the same for the coolness. 

“Hyuck,” he calls when he has made himself comfortable against the other’s chest. The other hums and he sneezes. There’s a, ‘you are disgusting,’ hummed into his hair and a kiss right after it. Jeno needs to be sick more often if this is how he gets treated. Donghyuck’s being so sweet, Jeno would have never thought he would be able to be. “Are you going to see Mark later today?” He feels drowsy. Even though it hasn’t been long, the interaction with Donghyuck has worn him out. 

“Yeah, later.” Jeno yawns, eyes falling shut.

“Will you kiss him for me? And tell him to get better soon?” He doesn’t get an answer right away, only a hand petting his hair. Feels nice.

“Now you are the one being a sap,” the other whispers but Jeno doesn’t have the energy to respond, not even chuckle. “You should rest,” the other says against his scalp, and Jeno doesn’t really waste time to comply. 

He wakes up alone, a few cookies disappeared into thin air from the pack on his nightstand. His phone tells him that there is one new message waiting for him, and he looks at it with sleepy eyes, trying to make the syllables apart. 

 

_Donghyuckie_

 _Took some cookies, hope you don’t mind~ There is some new tea for you in the thermos, also hyung told you to get well soon, too._

Donghyuck ends up falling sick right when Jeno and Mark are able to go back to school. 

 

;;;

 

It’s The Day. Night, whatever. Both him and Mark are standing behind the curtains of the theater stage, lurking to the grandstand to see if any of their friends have already arrived. There is excitement and tension in the air, every single one of the club members afraid that they’ll mess up their own part. Jeno can just imagine the pressure the main actors and actresses are feeling if even he is feeling like this. 

They had arrived here two hours early on Yuta’s truck since he had volunteered as a make-up artist for the play. He had done all the faces of the ten characters of the play, other three of the club members not needing the face-paints since they are in charge of the lights and other stage effects. 

Jeno is amazed because of the amount of people filing into the theater. This is certainly not his first play nor his last, but every time he is taken aback because of how many people in their town are actually interested in plays like these. 

“Look, there’s Donghyuck!” Mark is whispering into his ear from behind him, his hands splayed around his waist in almost possessive manner. Jeno searches the masses of people with his eyes for a while before spotting him. There is Taeil after him – all the hyungs, too, Renjun, and Jaemin also. Yuta is running to them from behind the stage soon after, he had probably spotted Taeyong in the crowd. Jisung and Chenle appear to the hall, too, Chenle’s parents walking after them. Jeno can’t believe that all of them had come tonight, even making it to the premiere of the play. His heart stops when he sees his own parents with Mark’s and even Donghyuck’s, even though he isn’t in the theater club. 

Wow, it really is a big night. 

The minutes tick by and the play starts, the hall falling into silence as the first characters step onto the stage. Him and Mark are pressed against each other, waiting for their first turns to make an appearance in front of all the people. They are fidgeting, but so is everyone behind the stage, waiting anxiously. 

“How are you holding up?” Jeno jolts, pulls away just enough to look at the older. 

“I’m fine. You?” It’s nice to have someone to lean against, even if the anxiousness isn’t that bad. It’s with everyone, however many plays they have been in. It’s always the same. Mark only nods, they aren’t really supposed to talk during the play, the audience shouldn’t be able to hear them. 

“I want a kiss for good luck,” Mark says into his ear and Jeno chuckles, bites the inside of his cheek. He’s being demanding today.

“Lipstick,” Jeno mumbles, but dares to keep their faces close together, just to be a tease. Mark groans, doesn’t really know how to respond. 

“You two, stop snuggling, Mark’s next up.” It’s one of their co-actresses, Kim Yerim. Jeno feels himself blush, someone had noticed. They pull away, concentrating back to the ongoing play. 

‘’,,

The whole team gets a standing ovation. All of the members of the theater club come onto the stage, everyone getting a separate introduction with their real and character names and every single one also gets a round of applause. It feels good, they all worked hard for this. 

Then it’s the time for relatives and friends to congratulate the actors, actresses, and of course the other team mates. Jeno sees someone running at him and Mark with full speed, only after getting locked into a tight embrace he realizes it’s Donghyuck. He smooches both of their cheeks, grins at them. They know anyone who’s looking onto the stage can see them, but they don’t care. Maybe it’s time to tell the world about their relationship. 

Donghyuck pushes himself to the middle so Mark and Jeno are on his both sides, and they make their way down from the stage. All of their friends and loved ones are there, waiting for the three of them to come to them. Jeno and Mark both get a pile of roses for the play. 

He knows all of them saw and see how the three of them are inseparable but he’s pretty sure most of them already knew that there is something else between them now, it has already been a month. Yuta just keeps grinning at him as he stands next to him, eventually dropping something into Jeno’s coat pocket. He lifts the thing carefully, glances at it, dropping it back into his pocket. A fucking condom, who would have known. A raging blush makes it’s way onto his face as he sends a glare at Yuta. 

“Or do you need two?” The other is chuckling now, tucked forward by his boyfriend. Jeno might have slipped two weeks ago that Donghyuck had kissed him, and after that Yuta had made him tell everything. 

“You are way ahead of yourself,” Jeno tells him, and the other keeps laughing. 

“I can give you the birds and bees talk if you want, although that still might not save you from your parents,” Yuta whispers right into his ear. 

Jeno doesn’t know for how long after that Yuta runs away from him as he tries to catch him. It all ends to a great snowball-fight when Jeno’s ball hits Renjun’s back and Jaemin comes to defend him, as both Donghyuck and Mark take Jeno’s side, everyone else joining in one after another. 

Jeno couldn’t really ask for a better family.

**Author's Note:**

> ... *Peeks from the hole I dug into the ground* So, what did you think? 
> 
> I am sorry if the school system is weird, I tried to write it as an American high school, but I've never been to one as I'm not from there (on the same note, I'm sorry for all the mistakes that I have missed). I tried to use things that I have learned and know for a fact, but I also used my own experiences to point the way. Some things in this are real and everyday life for some, for example, I gave Donghyuck my dyslexia, and my experiences with it. 
> 
> I really do hope that this woke some emotions in you, if you have made it to this point. It would be nice if you left a comment!
> 
> Thank you for reading ^^


End file.
